Our Warrior's Battle Against CHD
Monday, December 3, 2012
Tough day mentally
I am exhausted physically and mentally. I am tired of watching my baby suffer. I am tired of leaving the hospital without Lincoln. I am tired of listening to the baby scream next door because his mother neglects him. I am tired of sitting in a dark, quiet room. I am tired of not seeing my boys. And for seven days now, I have felt helpless. Today, my baby boy is still not the baby I had to leave last week in the OR. I am sad, tired, overwhelmed, and ready to hold my baby where he looks at me with light in his eyes and knows his Momma. I know it is temporary, I know this too shall pass. But for now, I am so sad that my sweet boy has had to endure so much. And I am sad for us because unlike him, we will remember this hellish experience forever.
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No wonder you feel the way you do. This has been a terrible experience. There's been so little comfort anywhere. Hugs to you, Lisa. You've been there for Lincoln in every way you could be. I hope you'll get to go home with him soon. Faithful momma.
ReplyDeleteYou are living the fear of all parents. And you have done so with more grace than I could have. Hold on to the love surrounding you. Hold on. You are doing an amazing job. No wonder God chose you to be Lincoln's mommy.
ReplyDeleteCannot imagine what it is like for you, Lisa. Praying that courage will continue to come to you and faith that soon Lincoln will be in your arms, and at home.
ReplyDeleteBad enough that your son is ill, worse that you and he must spend long hours in a hospital environment. Your own pain is making you more sensitive to other's pain and that is making it all the harder. I agree with Anna, you are an amazing woman. Hold on. You are not alone.
Lisa, throughout this past week I have been completely amazed by the strength and courage you have shown. It is no wonder that you are completely mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted! You are so much stronger than I could ever be in such a trying situation! Remember that, although you will remember this experience, it will serve as a reminder of your courage, strength, faith, and caring as the mommy that Lincoln needs to see him through his challenges now and in the future. Praying that God will grant you some peace and rest so you may recharge for the days ahead. - Kristin C.
ReplyDeleteLisa, you're doing such an amazing job staying strong for Lincoln, and Sam and Jackson, and Murph as well. I can't imagine that I would be able to remain half as strong as you have been this past week. Remember that God has a plan for Lincoln. He will come out of the nightmare a healthy child, and he is destined to do great things. And thankfully, although you will remember this, he won't. I pray that God will wrap his arms around you and your family and comfort you and give you the strength to keep fighting every day for your little man. You're the strongest, bravest person I know. Love you!
ReplyDeleteWhen it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
ReplyDeletePersian Proverb
Lisa and Murph,
First and foremost, I am so proud of you both. Your love for one another has held you closer now than ever (a time that it is the most needed). I can only imagine how difficult this time is for you both. I know you have a hundred people on standby ready to help you with whatever you need. However, the only thing you want is your four boys at home healthy and happy with you!
The quote I added made me think of this moment in your life. I know how dark it can be at the hospital (I’ve seen it firsthand), but it seems like when life presents us with the most difficult challenges, we feel the most connected with God and those most important to us! I know how connected you are with God and how much closer you probably feel now than ever. Keep your spirits high, and try not to show others the power of the “Spagnuolo glare.” I love you guys so much, and I am here for you no matter what you need.
Look up at the stars and analyze all you have done and just know you are doing everything that you possibly can. Everyone loves and supports you and your entire family. We are all so proud of you!! I love you so much :-)
Love,
Michael Spagnuolo